Friday, March 8, 2013

Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work I go...

Yesterday was Career Day at Batman's school. I signed up to speak and totally rocked it, which is to say that I wasn't booed and heckled. There were three sessions, but I only had enough students interested in order to do two sessions. Obvs, the kids did NOT know how awesome I - and therefore my career - am. 

The kids got to sign up for their sessions, and the other options were zoo keeper (bringing a ferret and alligator), Realtor (handed out large American flags), math teacher (I was more popular than the math teacher), helicopter pilot, coast guard, and martial arts instructor. Imagine my surprise when my kid walked into the second session. He was completely surprised that I was there. I didn't say anything, because I didn't want him to feel guilty if he didn't sign up for my session, and I didn't want to be a distraction and for him to be all fidgety in the other sessions. 

My lovely minion created a poster board of Congress, its chambers, and the White House and she wrote a mock bill about creating a national flavor of ice cream. Different kids got to be my client, Members of Congress and the Senate, and the President. One of the counselors emailed me today to tell me that two kids stopped in to tell her this morning that they wanted to be lobbyists, but one might want to be the President instead.

My kid wants to be a helicopter pilot, but maybe a lobbyist when he retires from the Air Force if he decides he doesn't want to be a professional karate guy.  I didn't have the heart to tell him that there is only one Chuck Norris.

Monday, March 4, 2013

He wishes he were a little bit taller, wishes he were a baller...

Ordinarily, I would be more than a bit miffed that my frenemy, Kim Jong-un, invited Dennis Rodman to visit him in North Korea and not me.

However, I'm busy recovering from my recent stay at hospital with Her Royal Highness - we've had a nasty stomach virus.  And just as I'm running for Pope...  I think it's a conspiracy to keep the Church from having an American Pope.

But, inquiring minds want to know, how big of a box do you think Kim is standing on in the above photo? Rodman's official height (per Wikipedia) is 6'7".