Thursday, October 31, 2013

Happy Halloween, Witches!

It's the most wonderful night of the year...
When the neighbors are treating, "Trick or Treat" is repeating, and I'm walking with beeeer
It's the most wonderful night of the year!

I love Halloween, it's the only guilt free holiday.  Trust me, when you have divorced parents you take what you can get.  Halloween was a holiday I could get into.  Dressing up, sugar, alcohol.  Nothing else comes close.

I'm off to do the Time Warp...

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Enemy of the State

Seriously, did no one else watch this movie?

Enemy of the State (1998) Poster

I don't understand why everyone is so shocked and surprised by the NSA's actions, it's all spelled out in Enemy of the State.

If you want to get even more old school, check out Sneakers.

Sneakers (1992) Poster

Not all of my conspiracy theories have been fed by Hollywood, in fact I have never made it all the way through Conspiracy Theory (sorry Julia, it's a terrible movie).

Monday, October 28, 2013

Pass the Dutchie...

I forgot about Red Ribbon Week, and my kid is the only one at school not wearing a tie.  Maybe.  Rest assured that I will hear all about it tonight.

Also, I made brownies last night.

Seriously, what kind of message am I trying to send my kids?  I should probably just give my permission for them to use drugs and get it over with.


Friday, October 25, 2013

Not to sound paranoid or anything, but...

The NSA is spying on me.  Because I'm fucking awesome.



And if they aren't, eh, their loss.

Happy Friday, Bitches!

Wednesday, October 23, 2013


No wonder I'm having a mid-career crisis right now.  

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

So fucking tired of this shit

This is me at work these days, dealing with my 6.5 year old computer:



In other news: the dogs have fleas, I found mouse shit in my silverware drawer this morning, Leo vomited all over the new carpet in my bedroom, and The Spouse is currently not getting paid but working anyway.  Oh, and I'm supposed to be writing a business plan in between the six birthdays we are celebrating in a 16 day period.



I can't wait to go home and clean up mouse shit while herding children to do homework.


Thursday, October 3, 2013

Shameful


See these guys running toward the gunfire? They Capitol Police officers and are currently working without pay, thanks to the shutdown.  They have wives and children, mortgages and daycare.  The work round the clock - putting themselves between Members of Congress and crazy people/terrorists - and Congress has the nerve not to pay them.  

The House of Reps had the balls to give them a standing ovation, but not the guts to the hard work of seeking an end to the situation.  Shame on them.

GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, YOU ASSHOLES. YOU’RE RUINING IT FOR EVERYONE

Even at its most dysfunctional, I love our government.  I love our system.  I love our country.  I could not wait to turn 18 and be able to vote.



I do not love our current Congress, but until people start shooting at each other (ahem) or shutting down the government (ahem, ahem) I think it works pretty much the way it was intended.  Perhaps I'm too American, I have too much pride in our country, but I think we have it a lot better than 98% of the world.

As a woman, I am educated, I can control how many children I have and whom I marry.  I can work outside the home - hell, I can LEAVE THE HOUSE UNATTENDED and DRIVE MY OWN CAR.  I'm not circumcised.  My children attend school free of charge (well, it's paid for by property taxes, but it is still a lot cheaper than private school) and have access to vaccines and medication that keep them healthy.  It's a wonderful thing to be an American, at least it is in my humble opinion.

So, Congress, suck it up.  Compromise.  BOTH sides. Pass some spending bills.  Don't hold the system hostage.  Get over yourselves.  Do your fucking job.

*Title stolen from Jenny, Bloggess extraordinaire.