Friday, October 28, 2011

The Witch is Back!

This is what I looked like this morning before my shower:
Thankfully, after a hot shower and a cold Diet Coke, I'm back to my normal self, more or less.  It's been a long tiring week. 

Things I have done instead of updating my blog:
-Working.  Can you believe they actually want a return on my salary?
-Trying a new lunch spot.  I hate to eat food I haven't eaten before.  I know that's weird and silly, but I'm a picky eater (hello, this is where Batman gets it).  I put on my big girl panties and went to Roti for lunch yesterday.  It was good and I'll probably go again.  It helped that I read the menu online and planned exactly what I would get so I didn't freeze when I got there.  I would be a much better networker if I could eat like a normal person, but I can't and I dread meeting people for lunch unless they are close friends and it's my home turf (i.e. Five Guys).
-Meeting with Batman's teacher to discuss his food fight, trip to the principal's office, and other terrible behavior. 
-Prepping for Halloween.  Our lights and decorations are out.  The lawn has been planted with tombstones.  It's spider season in Virginia, and a HUGE wolf spider has taken up residence near our porch light.  Our pumpkins have been attacked by fruit flies.  We have our spook on.
-Gathering costume materials.  Batman is going to be a knight this year.  Robin is going to be Batman.  I am going to be a porter, a la Monty Python and the Holy Grail.  I have my coconuts and burlap.

If I'm not back, have a Happy Halloween!  In the words of the recently fired TSA agent, "Get Your Freak On!"

Monday, October 24, 2011


Poor Robin's heart broke into a million pieces yesterday. 

Batman and I are like the waves on the ocean.  Sometimes we're up, sometimes we're down, occasionally there's a high tide involved.  We're deliriously happy, then upset.  We are probably justthisside of bi-polar.  Robin and The Spouse are much deeper and calmer in their emotions.  It takes a lot to push their buttons, but when it happens it's more like a tsunami of emotion.  Rage, happiness, sadness, doesn't matter. 

Robin and I had a cold over the weekend - nothing major, just some sniffles and coughs.  Enough to keep us out of swimming lessons in the unheated pool on Saturday (Yippeee!!).  Batman was grounded from tv and playdates for his attempted food fight on Friday.  By Sunday evening, he was bored, bored, bored and restless.  We relented on the tv ban while The Spouse and I watched our respective football teams win(!) because we knew it would torture him to have to watch sports.  Batman began begging The Spouse to take him out to play football after dinner.  The Spouse gave in, but told me he didn't want to take Robin due to sniffles, inability to catch a ball, prone to wandering in the darkness, etc.

I took Robin to the basement to "help" me with laundry and letting the dogs out. Then he went upstairs to "help" me clean his bedroom. After 20 minutes or so, he noticed that Batman wasn't around.  Then he did an audit of the house and reported that Batman and The Spouse were both gone.  Then, my little 3 year old baby, put 2 + 2 together and discovered it equaled him getting screwed.  He sat on the stairs and sobbed.  And sobbed.  And sobbed. He cried his poor little heart out.  My heart broke for him, and I also thought it was unfair that I had to deal with him he had to stay inside.  I had never seen him cry like that before. 

I projected forward on all the things that will break his heart someday: First crush that doesn't like him back; first love that cheats on him; not getting to attend his first choice college; loss of a pet or family member.  All of these things looming in front of him, but this was his first broken heart and, worse yet, a betrayal by his father.  After awhile, I was able to calm him down and distract him with toys until the backstabbers returned with pink cheeks and frozen fingers.  Then the sobbing began again.

The Spouse didn't quite get it, so I walked Robin through confronting his father.  "Daddy, you really hurt my feelings because you didn't take me."  Sob.  "It wasn't fair that I had to stay inside."  Sob.  "I wanted to go, too."  Sob.  His poor little body was wracked with sobs.  The Spouse was blindsided by the emotion coming from this heartbroken little boy.  He still thinks of Robin as a baby who is easily distracted by things, not realizing that Robin wants to be treated the same as Batman. 

I'm not sure that there is a happy ending to this story.  Maybe The Spouse will remember this and take Robin with him the next time he and Batman go out to play.  Maybe The Spouse will feel guilty and take Robin out on an adventure for just the two of them.  I don't know.  I hope Robin doesn't remember how hurt he was last night. 

I did learn one thing last night: Robin and I sob exactly the same way when our hearts are broken.

Friday, October 21, 2011

I need this - and one for driving

In other news, Batman tried to start a food fight in the cafeteria.  He was trying to persuade his friends to join him, and start the festivities by dumping his water bottle on his head. 

He just turned six!!

Lord, beer me strength.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

It's Beginning to look a lot like my mailbox

Yesterday was an exciting mail day for Batman, Robin, and me.  The new Lego catalog arrived for Batman, the Fisher-Price holiday catalog arrived for Robin, and the Barbie Collector catalog arrived for me!  Ordinarily, I would be super peeved that these catalogs arrived in October, just to get my kids riled up for the holidays, however it was the BARBIE catalog!!! (and American Girl.  Seriously, WTF?  But that's for another post on another day.)

The three of us sat at the kitchen table and poured over our catalogs in silence for several minutes - which in kid time is roughly equivalent to four adult hours.  It was beautiful.  Then we all began adding things to our Christmas lists.

Batman pouted that he can't have Lego sets for kids 7+.  It's not that I'm a stickler for the age guidelines, but I relented and let his Mimi get him a Lego Alien Invasion set for his birthday and it frustrated him (but did keep him quiet in his room for hours.  Again, in kid time, it's like we didn't see/hear from him for days.)  He finally relented and put a fire truck and the rest of the catalog some other things on his list. 

Robin kept asking for TRIO Batcave.  Not going to happen, kid.  Batman has a Batcave and you guys seldom play with it, so you can get over it.  But the Joker house is an option.  Maybe. 
After buying myself two Barbies for my birthday, I was leary of asking for another doll that will gather dust under the stairs. (Sidenote: I used to have them in the guest room and I would sit and admire them for the works of art they are.  But then we had Robin and Batman moved into the guest room and the Barbies moved to the basement.  Not that anyone but me cares about this migration.)  But I found two beautiful and practical items to add to my list.

A Barbie watch.  I had one once.  It was my "dress" watch for fancy occasions until I got thrown into a pool while wearing it and it never worked again. 
This watch would be super practical because it comes with multiple bands and faces.  Think of all the outfits I could mix and match with this watch.  The possibilities are endless. 

I also found this highly practical tote, but Matel informs me it is sold out.  No matter, there is always ebay.

I added these to my Christmas list, ripped the pages from the catalog and put them on The Spouse's nightstand, and all begged him over and over again.  I was met with an eyeroll and a sigh. 

Batman and I read the officially-sanctioned-by-kindergarten book before bed, then cuddled and read the Lego catalog, cover to cover.  It's probably not what his teacher hoped for when she tasked us with reading to our kids for 15 minutes each night, but whatevs, it was reading.  Batman even read, "Ships for Free" all by himself.  Useful life skill, kid. 

*Please note that while I have posted pics things the Superheroes and I love, I have gotten paid exactly bupkis.  There, are you happy FCC??*

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The more you know

Today's PSA is brought to you by the National Park Service.  From this morning's commute:

Dammit!  I was going to ditch my car on the GW Parkway and dive recklessly in the Potomac River.  Guess that plan is off.  Might as well go to work.

Also this morning, I giggled at this blog on why Generation X is the Jan Brady of the generations. 

Obviously, I ripped the graphic off from NBC.  Just in case there was any confusion.)

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

knock knock

What do you call it when a Congressman, a lobbyist, a nun and a redhead walk into a bar?

I call it Tuesday.

Monday, October 17, 2011

It's a beautiful day to be born

I would like to welcome Landon James to the world.  He arrived this morning to a sunny crisp fall day, and his friends and family couldn't be happier.

I'm super busy at work, and no time to write, but wanted to share a pic I snapped on my walk to get lunch today.  Occupy DC on K Street.  I didn't tell them I was a dirty lobbyist. 

Now, back to rolling in my piles of money while I destroy the world. 

Wednesday, October 12, 2011



Construction on Constitution Ave.

Stupid Commute.


Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Bullet Gumbo

- My mom arrived Friday morning.  I took a half day and we had sushi for lunch, then home for naps.  Got goody bags and things ready for the party.

-The keyboard on my Droid 2 is shot, so I had a new (refurb) one shipped to me.  It won't charge the battery.  Another one is supposed to arrive tomorrow, but it was a pain in my ass to charge batteries on the old Droid and plug them into the new one. Even worse when I discovered this Saturday morning, and my cell number and email were given as contact info.  I had to drive into my office in DC before heading to the party venue in Woodbridge.

- Party was good, boys had a blast.  Great to see my friends and get to know parents of the kids' friends. 

-Had subsequent parties on Sunday and Monday.  Am now going through birthday cake withdrawals.

-Went shopping at Potomac Mills after the party.  I parked mom in fitting rooms and brought her clothes.  She got a much needed wardrobe update.  I got three pairs of shoes (but need to return one.)

-Was supposed to have a haircut on Friday, but stylist had to reschedule.  Had a massage/facial/mani/pedi scheduled for Sunday.  It was rescheduled until Monday.  Weirdest salon and took forever, so I left before my massage.  Glad it was a groupon deal so I didn't feel too cheated. 

-More shoe shopping in Old Town with my mom and Batman.  She tried on every pair of black shoes that Comfort One carried in her size.  I strongly considered these in black:

Before buying a different pair of Mary Janes.  I can't find a picture, which is too bad because they are cute. 

-The Spouse and I had a night at the Hotel Monaco in Old Town.  The hallway felt like The Shining.  We were both weirded out. 

We went out for tapas and multiple pitchers of sangria at La Tasca, then walked around Old Town, recalling when we were young and in love and lived there.  Then we whispered, "Come and play with us," over and over as we walked back to our room.

- Grocery shopping and laundry yesterday.  For having a long weekend, I am behind in my chores because I played.  Whatevs, it was a good weekend.

 - Spent a shitload of money, and ordered a bunch of stuff today to try on.  Pajama Jeans (and slims) are half price today with code "halfoff".  You will so thank me for them.  You're welcome!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Bwa ha ha ha

My kid just made up a peanut allergy to get to go to the school nurse. 

The nurse called, incredibly concerned (read: extremely irritated that I'm such a neglectful parent) because Batman was having an allergic reaction to peanuts and we hadn't filled out the correct paperwork nor left an epi-pen with her.  I burst out laughing and could barely pull myself together to tell her that child had never been near a peanut and wouldn't eat one under threat of starvation.  Yes, but is he allergic?  Um, no.  Not to the best of our knowledge. 

He told her that someone gave him some candy at lunch that had peanuts and he accidently ate it and now he has a red rash that's itchy.  I don't doubt that he would eat candy with peanuts.  I've given him a peanut butter cup before.  He liked it and asked for more but I wanted to hog the candy so I said he couldn't have any more until he started eating peanut butter.  Aside from a crestfallen face and disappointment, he did not have any sort of reaction.

The kid has figured out how to work the system.

Monday, October 3, 2011

More Guilt

One of the grandmas emailed me to ask what to get the Dynamic Duo for their birthdays.  I pulled out my handy dandy list and my heart sank.  I discovered that my sweet little Robin only asked for three things and got none of them. 

Ok, the child just turned three.  He was thrilled with the Legos and Marvel super hero themed Hot Wheels he received, as well as the gifts from several friends.  Gifts from his four (yes, Four!) sets of grandparents are arriving between now and Batman's birthday in two weeks.  But, still, I feel horrible.  How hard is it to buy a $13 Transformer Rescue Bot for the kid so he gets something off his list?  Frankly, I never even consulted it, I just got him things I knew he would like.

On the other hand, the children broke the new kitchen table I got for my birthday.  More on that story later...