Monday, December 30, 2013

Goodbye Wallpaper!

The old adage "the right tools for the job" is indeed true.  I bought a second hand wallpaper steamer and gave it a shot on the kitchen of Wayne Manor:

There's not much to see in this bad camera phone photo, but that's the point:

The green counters and floors remain, but the wallpaper is gone.  G O N E, gone!  It took me a year to get the energy/time to do this much, so probably another year before I tackle the cabinets.

Friday, December 20, 2013

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Holiday Expectations

A few years ago I had a total breakdown in the middle of my Martha Stewart Christmas.  I was trying to give my family the perfect Christmas and they lapped it up while I lost my mind. In one of my less finer moments, I screamed at The Spouse that I was sick of this shit and not going to do it anymore.

Contrary to magazine articles that say people won't miss things if you downsize your holiday, I knew that my family of assholes would gripe over the shit I wasn't doing. But I was stressed, exhausted, and OVER IT. We started a new tradition.

A couple of weeks before Christmas, everyone gets to choose one thing that they want to do - that without it, it wouldn't feel like Christmas.  This year, The Spouse wanted me to make his mom's bourbon balls, Robin wanted to help me make Christmas cookies, and Batman wanted to watch a movie.  I have two of those three crossed off my list, and just the movie to go.

Of course, that doesn't mean there isn't a house to decorate, tree to get, cards to design, address, and mail and the fucking Elf of the Shelf that is going to kill me in my sleep.  I still do everything I want to do - for me and if the family gets any seasonal joy out of it it's icing on their holiday cake.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Let the Bragging Begin!

Season’s Greetings from Wayne Manor

Dear Friends and Family – 

It’s been a year since we moved into Wayne Manor. We went from living on top of one another in the townhouse to losing each other in the big house. The first week of our move, Robin could not find the bathroom and just last month, he discovered a new room in the house – the laundry room. (Let me assure you, he will become more and more familiar with this room in the coming years.) Some parts of the new house have been truly wonderful while others have the potential to bankrupt us. 

One of the best parts of the new house has been the ability to comfortably have guests. We were blessed to have Jill’s grandmother come out from California to visit the Dynamic Duo. Jill’s dad also visited and took in Little League opening ceremonies and Batman’s first baseball game. We could not get rid of Jill’s mom who has already picked out the room for her hospice care, though, God willing, that won’t be for a very long time. The Spouse’s dad came out to visit as well, and SMIL took Jill to lunch with the First Lady while they were in town (ooh la la! Yes, we both felt very fancy that day!)

The new house has also given Jill the space to bring home junk treasures from estate and yard sales. She refinished furniture and fencing in the garage while The Spouse rolled his eyes and sort of tolerated it. She also found a childhood dream – her own Barbie Dream House! Christmas in August! Her garden was a time consuming failure, but she tells herself that it will be better next year with amended soil and better plant placement. The Spouse worked hard to maintain the pool which the adults hate and the children love. People in Northern Virginia have no business having a private pool. We tell ourselves that it will be worth it when the kids are older…if we can last that long before filling it in.

Despite Jill’s denial, the kids continue to grow. Her babies are now eight and five. Batman fell in love with baseball this year, and Robin tolerated being drug to games and practices and attended his first professional game (with seats behind home plate! Enjoy this once-in-a-lifetime chance, kid.) Robin has been decorating the new house with sharpies and chalk (on the walls and wood floors.) His great grandmother thinks he is quite the artist while his parents argue that he is just a stinker. Sally and Leo are still with us, guarding the house against Vikings and pillagers. The kids are lobbying hard for a puppy because our old dogs are no fun. Eh, puppy breath and potty training are overrated. I’ll take housebroken and boring any day.

We wish you a happy and healthy 2014!

With love,

Jill, The Spouse, Batman, and Robin (Sally and Leo, too!)

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

I love you, Jake Ryan

Happy Belated Birthday to my boyfriend, Michael Schoeffling.  Only you saw the swan hiding behind middle school fashion disasters, thick glasses, and braces.  I love that you are secure enough in our relationship to keep it a secret, and that you don't feel compelled to jump on couches at an Oprah taping.  You light up my life, baby.

Jake Ryan, "Yeah, you" photo yeahyou_zps73a1521a.gif

Friday, December 6, 2013

The forest is alive with the sound of Carrie!

I suffered through The Sound of Music Live last night.  Here are my observations as tweeted/facebooked:

  • Not loving the first 15 minutes. Maybe it will improve when she leaves the abbey.
  • The yodeling was good, but there's no chemistry to her acting.
  • Ironically, my boys are now enthralled. I'm pretty shocked. it's like watching Calliou - i don't get it but they like it.
  • My kids are quiet as can be, watching and enjoying it. Batman said he really liked this show.
  • On the plus side, it's wholesome. You can always leave it on and go take a bath.

All in all, I was totally underwhelmed. Pretty surprised I sat through the entire thing. Of course, I was also reading a book.

Long live Julie Andrews!

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Last night I dreamed that I was making bunuelos with Colin Kaepernick. No idea what that was about, but they were tasty.