Thursday, October 28, 2010


I have the craziest vivid dreams, and I usually remember them because I'm woken up approximately 4,391 times each night by a dog needing a drink of water or to pee, a snoring husband, a five year old Batman that needs to pee or has growing pains or had a bad dream or is just lonesome, or a 2 year old Robin with teething (damn molars!) or growing pains or just wanting to piss mommy off for shits and grins.  Last night was no exception.

I dreamt that Ben Affleck and I were in high school and a North Korean spy plane flew overhead taking photos.  We caught the plane and it was about the size of a can of soda.  It conveniently had a USB hookup, so we downloaded and printed the photos on the color printer.  I called the NSA and FBI but they didn't believe me, because why would a North Korean spy plane take photos of our school?  Ben was paged to come to the principals office with the photos.  He was peeved at me for calling the government because he wants to share the pics with Gwyneth (obviously they were dating when we were all in high school, right?) to impress her.  We then learned that the spy plane carried a computer virus and we infected all the American computers because we hacked into it.  Oops, sorry.  Then I woke up.

I can remember dreams I had when I was a small child (a dinosaur in a junk yard attacking our car, and me protecting my baby brother and I with my Big Blankie.  And my cousins leading me into the bathroom so I could pee, only to wake up and discover that I had wet the bed.)  In high school I had a lot of dreams about being chased at night through the neighborhood.  I would be terrified, then try to wonder why exactly I was being chased.  In college, I dreamt I was drowning.  All the time I dreamt about drowning.  In Saipan, for months I dreamed about moving into a group house in a brownstone in New York.  The dreams were extremely realistic and detailed.  The group of people were not stand ins for people I had met before.  I was working in an office (magazine? advertising?).  I mused that perhaps someone new to New York was dreaming about moving to a tropical island in the South Pacific, and wondering what the hell? 

Nowadays, I usually dream about Saipan (returning with my family and having to go on stage that night at PIC and not remembering my choreography), or working for DF (getting yelled at by the Senator in a staff meeting because I screwed up), or house hunting.  I'm always house hunting in my sleep.

And that's my lunch hour, folks!

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