As if my holidays weren't crazy enough, Kim Jong Il died. Longtime readers know that the Dear Leader was a dedicated fan of mine. We dictators have to stick together, since there are so few of us left after the Arab Spring.
His death also means that I have to get my resume polished since I am sure to be called to interview for the opening. Kim Jong Un seems like a nice kid, but let's be frank: I am more experienced (ask any of my former interns) and would be a better choice. I would also let my people eat, which would make me extremely popular. And I would license "Friends" to be shown on the Korean television channel - and maybe even bring in HBO...I'd need something to watch in the palace. But let's not get carried away. I'll start out by letting people eat 1,000 calories a day. I'm already beloved.
Jill for Supreme Leader