A Whiter Shade of Pale: Thankful

This is the time of year for everyone and their mother to post what they are thankful about, so I thought I would post my own list. I am not a heartless ogre (contrary to the views of a select few) and am always thankful for my family, health, home, job, etc -that's a daily gratitude. This is my list of those extra things that make my life awesome.

-Five Guys. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love your well done burgers and lightly toasted buns. I love your crisp fries. I love your free refills on soda. I love your cheap price. I do not love the ten pounds I gained when I stopped breastfeeding. The introduction of online ordering has only deepened my love for you.

-Hot water. Good for cooking, cleaning, long showers, baths, laundry.

-Classic automobiles. What beauty and style! Mobile art. I wish cars these days had some orginality to them. People like The Spouse are the problem. I asked if I could get a two tone Batmobile with white walls and was denied. Killjoy.

-Television. Oh, television. You are my very best friend. You have traveled with me on my journey across country and overseas. The Friends I had in college were the Friends I had in Saipan and the Friends I had in DC. You inspired my career (mwah to you, Schoolhouse Rock) and kept me company when I was sick at home (I love you, too, Bob Barker even if you are a sorta crazy vegan).

-I'm a complete bitch. {shrug} It's true, I am. When I was growing up, I wanted to be someone that was well liked and got along with people, but that is so not in my true nature. I have very strong opinions and share them. I don't like certain people/things/situations and I tell them so. People don't always like me (though, truth me told, most of those people suck). I made peace with that part of me and now I'm grateful for it. My bitchiness protected me from peer pressure and dangerous situations. If I felt uncomfortable doing something, I said no. I stand up for myself and my beliefs and that is a good thing - most of the time.

-I'm tall. Similar to the above, when I was growing up I really wanted to be petite and cute but I was always head and shoulders above everyone - especially in middle school. I topped out at 6' and things turned around in college. Now, I wouldn't change it for anything (it helps that pants are now widely available in long lengths). It's nice to be able to see over people's heads.

-Sarcasm. 98% of my personality is based on sarcasm, the rest is based on pop culture mixed with sarcasm.

- Toilet Paper. In the olden days, people used to wipe their bums with corncobs. Can you imagine heading to the out house in the dead of winter to take a dump, then having to wipe your shit with a frozen corncob? No siree! Thank you, Mr. Whipple, for asking us not to squeeze the Charmin.