Friday, November 4, 2011


This is the time of year for everyone and their mother to post what they are thankful about, so I thought I would post my own list.  I am not a heartless ogre (contrary to the views of a select few) and am always thankful for my family, health, home, job, etc -that's a daily gratitude.  This is my list of those extra things that make my life awesome.

-Five Guys.  How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.  I love your well done burgers and lightly toasted buns.  I love your crisp fries.  I love your free refills on soda.  I love your cheap price.  I do not love the ten pounds I gained when I stopped breastfeeding.  The introduction of online ordering has only deepened my love for you.

-Hot water.  Good for cooking, cleaning, long showers, baths, laundry. 

-Classic automobiles.  What beauty and style!  Mobile art.  I wish cars these days  had some orginality to them.  People like The Spouse are the problem.  I asked if I could get a two tone Batmobile with white walls and was denied.  Killjoy.

-Television.  Oh, television.  You are my very best friend.  You have traveled with me on my journey across country and overseas.  The Friends I had in college were the Friends I had in Saipan and the Friends I had in DC.  You inspired my career (mwah to you, Schoolhouse Rock) and kept me company when I was sick at home (I love you, too, Bob Barker even if you are a sorta crazy vegan).

-I'm a complete bitch. {shrug} It's true, I am.  When I was growing up, I wanted to be someone that was well liked and got along with people, but that is so not in my true nature.  I have very strong opinions and share them.  I don't like certain people/things/situations and I tell them so.  People don't always like me (though, truth me told, most of those people suck).  I made peace with that part of me and now I'm grateful for it.  My bitchiness protected me from peer pressure and dangerous situations. If I felt uncomfortable doing something, I said no.  I stand up for myself and my beliefs and that is a good thing - most of the time. 

-I'm tall.  Similar to the above, when I was growing up I really wanted to be petite and cute but I was always head and shoulders above everyone - especially in middle school.  I topped out at 6' and things turned around in college.  Now, I wouldn't change it for anything (it helps that pants are now widely available in long lengths).  It's nice to be able to see over people's heads.


-Sarcasm.  98% of my personality is based on sarcasm, the rest is based on pop culture mixed with sarcasm.

- Toilet Paper.  In the olden days, people used to wipe their bums with corncobs.  Can you imagine heading to the out house in the dead of winter to take a dump, then having to wipe your shit with a frozen corncob?  No siree!  Thank you, Mr. Whipple, for asking us not to squeeze the Charmin.

That's it for today.  I'm thankful for my job and now that lunch break is over, time to get back to working.

*Thanks to jonskindzier

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