Just a typical weekend...

Friday -
-Picked up dinner
-Washed all of Batman's linens and cleaned his room for my mom's arrival
-Got kids fed and in bed.
-More laundry

Saturday -
-Picked up mom from airport
-took kids to consignment sale at local church, karate and soft play class, and home for lunch/nap.
-woke Robin up after an hour and took everyone to a birthday party.  My kids were horrible.
-Left kids at home with my mom and went to Costco
-Walked in the house and smelled poop.  Mom's nose was blocked and couldn't smell the diaper.
-Unloaded car, then took kids to grocery store and Blockbuster.
-Mom wasn't feeling good and went to bed.  No problem, because The Spouse will be up any minute.
-Any minute.
-Any minute.
-Sent Batman to wake up his dad.
-Any minute.
-Discovered Robin playing in dirty dishes in sink. Did dishes. 
-Any minute
-Go upstairs and tell The Spouse to get his ass out of bed and help me with his children.
-Start making dinner.  Robin asked me for a spoon.  Sure, kid, knock yourself out. 
-Turn around five minutes later to find him sitting on the kitchen table, eating a pan of brownies with the spoon.
-Hear the shower turn on.
-March upstairs, barge in the bathroom, and scream that him taking a shower does NOT help me with the kids.  "But your mom is here."  Dude, she's asleep.  and her being here for two weeks doesn't absolve you of taking care of your kids.  Fucker.
-I make dinner, I eat dinner alone.  Kids aren't hungry (Batman) or filled up on brownies (Robin).
-When The Spouse eventually emerges, I tell him that I'm done for the day and he can get his kids ready for bed.  He gave them baths and put on pjs, then went to work while I brushed teeth and read stories. 
-Batman was so excited that Mimi was here, he couldn't sleep.  Even though he wanted to sleep with her, he kept bounding in and out of the bedroom because he couldn't calm down. 
-Sweet Jesus, he finally fell asleep around 10:30!!

Sunday -
-Only to wake me up at 6:30 a.m. Sunday morning to ask me where Mimi was.  I don't know kid.  Lay down.  You have 30 minutes left. But he flipped and flopped and kept me awake.
-He left, and the dogs barked.  I let them out so Mom could put them out.  She put them back in my room and they quietly woofed every five minutes to tell me to get up and feed them.  Fuckers.
-I got up at 9:30.  Mimi had told the kids that we were going to have a rest day at home, so no church. 
-And then she went back to bed, leaving me with two young hyperactive boys cooped up inside because it's cold and snowed the night before.
-They fought.  And whined.  And broke the dog/baby gates that keep Robin out of the kitchen.  Robin put all the dog toys in their water dish, then mopped the floor with them.  Then got food out of the fridge and pantry for Sally.
-I did more dishes, cleaned up the mess, and yelled at everyone.  Even Batman who broke the gate in the first place.
-The Spouse came home and I screamed at him as he walked in the door because he threw a bunch of wet towels on top of clean folded laundry and left it to ferment in Robin's room. 
-Robin spilled his milk all over the table, himself, his food, chair, and floor.  I did not yell, but stripped him down, got him more food, and cleaned up the mess.  Then I put him to bed, hopped in the shower, and went to Chili's for maragaritas by myself.
-I did wake my mom up and put her in charge of the kids while The Spouse slept.  See, I'm a responsible mother!
-The hostess at Chili's was incredibly rude.  I sat down in the bar area and she very rudely kicked me out, telling me it was reserved for a private party.  Then, after I waited for a table, she very rudely told me that she made a mistake and I could sit in the bar.  I went back to my table and she flung I menu down.  I looked up at her, glared, and said in my meanest mommy voice, "I am having a very bad day and I need to you be just a little bit nice to me or I am going to cry, do you understand?  Good, because you haven't been nice yet.  Are you my server?  No, Ok, why don't you leave me alone now."  I said basically the same thing to the waitress and she was very sweet to me after that.  I sat and read my US Weekly and tipped well.
-I went to the mall and returned some stuff I bought for the Dynamic Duo, then tried on clothes.  OMG, am I unhappy with my body.  I bought a few things that were on sale at Penney's because I needed some new larger clothes and didn't want to pay a fortune for them.  I need to go through my closet and get rid of anything I owned before I had the kids.  I bought four tops and a jacket to add some color and variety to the current clothes that fit me.  I really needed to update the wardrobe and get some things that flatter my curves.
-I went home in a better mood and played with the kids for awhile before making dinner. 
-Watched the new Karate kid with my mom and went to bed.
-Everyone managed to let me sleep through the night.  Miracle.

Monday
-Got the kids to school, ran home to meet the handyman and get him started, then went to work.
-Peace and quiet...aaaahhhhh....
-My mom has bronchitis, but is ok to pick up the kids this evening.
-Salmon for dinner tonight.